Where there's a will,there's a way, right?
- Chiara Marturano
- Jun 5, 2023
- 4 min read
Today, I'm giving you a glimpse behind the scenes of the Coachforbreakfast podcast.
When I have guests, I always ask them a ritual question:
Have there been pivotal moments in your personal and professional life that led you to your current job? What resources have helped you along this journey?
I hold a special attachment to this question, finding reassurance in sharing the fact that getting lost and finding ourselves is part of everyone's professional growth process.
How did this question come about? I believe I asked it spontaneously during the first interview, driven by instinct. In reality, behind this inquiry, there are numerous desires and needs: the desire for connection, the desire to share, and the desire to debunk some myths surrounding work.
Like many of you, I was raised with a rather linear idea of the working world: choose your high school, based on what you think you want to do "when you grow up." Participate in career orientation programs and select a university. If all goes well, you graduate and the world of work opens up to you.
Always be a "yes man," available 24/7, working more hours than the clock can handle just to get noticed by the bosses who will offer you a permanent position. You'll climb the corporate ladder, and after 30 or more years in the same place, you'll reach retirement.
If you can't achieve that goal, the responsibility lies solely with you because "where there's a will, there's a way," and if you couldn't make it, it means you didn't believe enough, or you don't have the right numbers, the right talent, etc. All of this is accompanied by the anxiety of having to achieve goals by a certain age (35/40), otherwise, the train has left the station.
I don't know about you, but this story of expectations, with its narrative and prejudices, has instilled in me a deep sense of inadequacy, constant failure, and confusion for most of my working life.
Here are some false myths
1. Let's start with the classic one still prevalent today: choosing a university determines the path you'll follow for the rest of your life. What if you're undecided? What if you don't know what you like? Then you might play it safe by choosing versatile universities that could lead to a stable job, like law or economics (but is that true?). And what if you change your mind later? In university (at least in Italy), you have six months to switch majors, but what about afterward?
2. The job for life: permanent employment has been and still is a chimera for many, especially because it plays a significant role in building a family, for example. Which bank would grant a mortgage for a house or a business idea without guarantees? Yet, the number of people changing jobs frequently in search of a better work-life balance is increasing.
3. The inflexibility of the job market: connected to the previous point, the idea of changing companies, roles, or even industries can overwhelm anyone. And how do you fit that into your resume or justify it in an interview?
4. Hard work always pays off: not necessarily true. Sometimes you work and work, like a hamster in a cage. Sometimes you're part of a work environment that leverages your sense of duty but recognizes you little or not at all (so, are the extra hours just for show?!). It's not guaranteed that all this effort will be rewarded in terms of salary or career advancement.
5. Linked to this myth, and the title of the article, is the mantra where there's a will, there's a way. It's perhaps one of the worst myths I've encountered and still encounter. Don't get me wrong, willpower, determination, hard work, dedication, and clarity of goals are all important and contribute to creating opportunities: the opportunity to stand out, to differentiate oneself, and to have a niche where one can express themselves. But it's not always enough. The factor "C," the alignment of planets, coincidences, timing, and being in the right place, call it what you will, are necessary.
6. My work defines who I am and determines my value. Professional identity is important and integrates into our personal identity (I've talked about it here). However, confusing our work with who we are can be dangerous and risks reducing the meaning of our lives to just that fragment.
I carry out my work with passion and dedication, and there's a lot of myself in it. This entails hard work, frustration, satisfaction, and countless hours devoted to reflection, construction, redefinition, and starting over. What I do, the role I play, reflects a lot of who I am. However, just as parenthood doesn't fully define my value or essence, neither does any other role I have in life. Each of them communicates what I do and how I do it, but the intentions and values that underpin them only partially reveal who I truly am.
Which false myth about the working world has had the greatest influence on your choices? Write it in the comments or email me at chiaramarturano@gmail.com.
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