Morning routines and stereotypes
- Chiara Marturano
- Jun 25, 2024
- 3 min read
This morning I happened to watch a video that the algorithm thought I would appreciate, but instead, it left me perplexed. By mid-morning, I started feeling a certain irritation taking over. An hour later, I was pacing around the house, feeling frustrated!
The message of the video was quite simple: 'By 8:30 AM, a woman has already lived more than 24 hours,' emphasizing how a mom (because, as women, we're all moms!) manages to do so much in just a few hours in the morning. While the rest of the house and the world are still asleep!
Another video, this time featuring a man and entrepreneur. He wakes up at 5:40 AM. He runs, showers, has breakfast, and sets his daily goals, spends half an hour with the family, and then heads to work. By 8:30 AM (apparently a crucial time for the success of his day and life), he's already at the office. In essence, thanks to these actions, doing the math, he works an extra month and a half more than others in a year. That's the secret of his success.
thoughts regarding these videos.
1. 'Chi dorme non piglia pesci' is a living and active adage, even today. Perhaps too much so. Nearly all entrepreneurs (men) talk about the benefits of waking up at dawn, or even at night, around 3:30/4 AM.
The question is: what has sleep ever done to you?
Sleep serves numerous functions:
- Recovery and rest from continuous internal and external stimuli;
- Ecological function;
- Immunological function;
- Thermoregulatory function;
- Neuronal integrity at the level of synapses and networks.
70% of adults suffer from sleep disorders, mainly caused by stress and anxiety. It's a cause-and-effect scenario. In other words, lack of sleep causes stress, anxiety, and can lead to depression.
2. Stereotypes are alive and well. The contrast between a woman waking up to clean and prepare a home welcoming her family's awakening, and a man doing so to build an empire, reminds us that everyone has their role in society. Socially, caregiving work remains a 'nice' thing, associated with women, while men carry the burden of 'bringing home the bacon.'
I wonder: if there weren't a partner taking care of home and children, could the entrepreneur manage to work more than the clock allows?
There's nothing wrong with deciding one's priorities and needs. It just needs to be a personal choice and not imposed.
3. Our worth is determined by what we produce.
Mothers have superpowers because they've already worked hard, and by 8:30 AM, they're ready to continue. Men have value because they work a month and a half more than others and produce additional work.
The terrible thing is that I know that inner voice well: it tells me the house must always be clean and welcoming, cookies baking in the oven, spring-scented laundry, and tidy rooms. And it's my duty, because I'm the 'mom.' I have a partner who doesn't let me linger in such attitudes, and we split everything 50/50. So, along with a sense of duty, I also feel guilt ('But how? Are you making your husband clean the house?!').
4. Being tired isn't for everyone. It's not for anyone. I have a friend who occasionally complains about being tired. Yet she says, 'I have so much help, I shouldn't complain.' She doesn't have the right to be tired: just thinking about organizing 'the help,' organizing her day and that of all family members, and considering all the to-do lists she bears (mental load, I've talked about it here) are sources of fatigue, but they're not seen and therefore don't exist."
taking notes for my inner voice.
I claim my right to sleep and to wake up with light, rather than darkness.
I claim the right to be tired even while buying supermarket cookies and leaving clothes folded on top of dressers rather than neatly inside.
I assert my worth regardless of what I do, whether for others or to build my business.
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