Do you remember the Lion King? The famous song Hakuna matata? It is a Swahili term, extremely common in many regions of central-eastern Africa (especially in the area of Kenya and Tanzania).
A possible translation is "there are no problems" or "without thoughts".
Oh God, when the film came out I was little, 12 years old, my thoughtlessness translated into no homework. The adult perspective is a little different. In reality this expression has a broader meaning: don't worry about things beyond your control. In episode n.10, I talked about the locus of control, another expression now in common use: there are a series of things that we can control, such as our thoughts, our actions, there are things that we can choose to do or no, and then there are a number of other things over which we have no control: the actions, emotions, thoughts of others, the life going on around us. Most of the time we focus on what we have no control over, we get anxious because “what if this happens? What if dude says or does this? What if…?” We drown in a sea of conjecture, we feel overwhelmed by everything and everyone. Or we live in the frustration of seeing our attempts to control others or events, and emotions such as anger mount up. In short, the more we try to control, the more we end up losing control.
What do we have control over? We know it by now: our emotions are an automatic, instinctive reaction of our brain to an external stimulus. They help us understand when something is wrong and prepare us for action.
They can guide us. You know that kind of stomach ache you get when something doesn't resonate right for you? And maybe you think “but no, come on! Just imagine, trust me et”? Damn me and all the times I didn't trust myself.
So, we don't control emotions but they can guide us.
We can control our thoughts, even if it seems like an impossible mission, there are so many techniques to let go of the negative ones and choose which one works best based on what we want to achieve.
We can control what we say. No, "I say everything I think" does not apply. "eh but I'm honest", even less, thanks. We have filters, let's use them. And let's go back to the old adage "I don't say everything I think but what I say I really mean it", which is a completely different story! Everything we communicate with words, orally or in writing, we can choose it. But think about how much power we have, how many choices we can make.
Finally our actions. Emotions can drive us to act in a certain way: there's a danger I put myself in fight or flight mode, but since in the office we can't beat the boss or run away from a client, we choose how to act.
Everything else is out of our control. As difficult as it is, it is a fact that we must accept: the emotions, thoughts, choices of others are beyond our control.
One last thing we have control over is our reaction to what is out of our control. How can we react to what others do and say? With the same strength? Supported by the emotion that something has triggered? Or do we let go? Hakuna matata.
And as much as we can try to anticipate moves and countermoves, some things are unpredictable and from a certain point of view, personally I also find it reassuring. I can't control it, Hakuna Matata.
One last thing we have control over is our reaction to what is out of our control. How can we react to what others do and say? With the same strength? Supported by the emotion that something has triggered? Or do we let go? Hakuna matata.
Proposal: what if we tried for one day, just one day to use HAkuna Matata as a mantra. I can't help it: Hakuna Matata, the boss who yells, Hakuna Matata, uncooperative colleagues, Hakuna matata. Would you feel it?
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