EXpat Journal
- Chiara Marturano
- Dec 15, 2023
- 3 min read
Home for Christmas
There are two moments in the year when you receive the same question: are you coming home?
The first is during the summer holidays and then for the Christmas festivities.
The challenges in returning are diverse: in addition to economic and logistical aspects that pose limitations on travel, there is the aspect linked to family and the anxiety of reunions. Moreover, for many expats, "home" is already where they have chosen to live..
At 'home' for Christmas is connected to family and social expectations
When you return 'home' for Christmas, there's a shrinking effect, somewhat like when you attend training and your mind and spirit revert to the school desks: you're not as much of an adult anymore; you shrink, maybe back to being 8 years old, carefree, pampered, and happy, or adapted and tormented.
Either way, the inevitable questions will always come: What about work? What about your love life? And your reproductive plans?
If you live abroad, you add: What is life like there? How do you manage to eat? How much do you earn? What's your rent? Aren't you coming back? What language do you speak? How do you cope with the weather?
The question about returning to the homeland has different motivations: a sincere desire to be together, curiosity, and one made me think, a friend of mine said a few days ago: "Look, Chiara, many people from Italy would never leave because it's good here!" Yes, I admit it, I carry some prejudices that make me forget such an obvious fact.
For those who stayed, the expatriate experience of those who decided to leave is just a brief one. So, when are you coming back?
After all, every year, 44 thousand Italians repatriate. The peak was recorded in 2021, with about 74.8 thousand people returning to Italy. The pandemic with its forced isolation has amplified a strong sense of loneliness, which is very common when changing the living environment.
At 'home' for Christmas is related to one's own roots
The other night, my daughter, seemingly out of nowhere, but who knows how long she had been carrying this within her, expressed the desire to have "someone" from the Italian side of the family as a guest for Christmas.
She still doesn't know it, but tonight her maternal grandmother will arrive, just in time for the holidays.
Five years ago, a few days before Christmas, we were on a plane headed to the Netherlands.
The technical and logistical motivation was the start of a work contract scheduled for January 2nd.
The truth is that we wanted to begin a new life by breaking with traditions and creating new ones.
Boxes with the Christmas tree, decorations, and gifts had already been set aside; we couldn't find the table to eat at, but despite the chaos, there was a festive atmosphere.
Christmas, or festivities in general, have become a cultural exchange where chaos generally reigns, as is tradition. In our group of friends, over the years, we have "educated" ourselves to each other's celebrations: we began to celebrate SinterKlass, the start of the Chinese calendar, wishes for the end of Ramadan, and danced amid the colors of the Holi festival.
We take the beauty, what we like, from every culture. We haven't lost our roots; instead, new ones have sprouted.
In every Christmas spent far away and in every new return, I have learned that holidays are a bridge between what we were and what we are becoming. As we prepare for this time when some friends return home and others will stay here, I carry with me the warmth of human connections and the awareness that "home" is wherever the heart finds its happiness.
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