Expat journal

 Who Can You Rely On?

Think about your daily life. Who do you call when you have a problem?

• Maybe you have young children, they’re sick, they can’t go to school, and you have an important deadline at work. Your partner is away on a business trip. Who do you call?

• You wake up with a high fever. You can’t even get out of bed. But the kids need to go to school, or you just need an aspirin and don’t know how to get one. Who do you call?

• You’ve found the house of your dreams. You need to pack everything, you’re eight months pregnant, you have a small child, and work. Your partner is already doing everything they can. And the moving boxes are just sitting there. Who do you call?

• You come home after a long day and realize you’ve locked yourself out. It’s late, it’s cold, and there’s no one who can rescue you with a spare key. Who do you call?

• Or maybe you just want to chat, have a drink, and vent about work or family. Who do you call?

If you have someone to call in an emergency, you already have a great fortune. But sometimes, that’s not the case.

And what happens when you decide to live abroad?

If you move with your partner, you become everything to each other: friend, emergency contact, partner, parent, and more. And sometimes, it’s a lot—too much. Living abroad as a couple can put a relationship to the test.

Having someone else to rely on takes a lot of effort and a bit of luck. Over the years, my husband and I have only been able to count on ourselves. This led to some rough patches in our relationship. I couldn’t complain about him to him; he was my only reference point, and I was his. Eventually, we built stronger relationships with the people we met here, but after so many years, we were no longer used to asking for help.

Recently, thanks to living closer to friends, we’ve started to rely on some of them—our “neighbors”—and it felt like a leap of faith. Can I really trust and rely on them? It was strange at first, letting others help and knowing I could ask without feeling like a burden. I’m still working on it, but how freeing it is to not always have to be self-sufficient and to count on someone without feeling indebted!

A support network, when living abroad, is not a luxury but a necessity—because emergencies always happen.

And for your mental well-being, and if you have kids, for theirs too, it’s crucial to have a circle of people who support you.