Being There

How hard is it to network??? Yet, being there can actually help you find a job.

Last Friday evening, I went to a concert with my daughter. The Bolzano Orchestra, hosted by the Philips Orchestra in Eindhoven, was playing, featuring only wind instruments and percussion. It was so much fun! This event was a private club event, not advertised. How did I end up there?

Well, on Wednesdays, I teach Italian in a public high school that looks like a spaceship (with its PCs, gyms, and sports fields for soccer and hockey). The school’s space coordinators asked me to translate a welcome message into Italian for the guests (but I thought, “Wait, won’t they speak German?”). And that’s how I received an invitation to the concert.

One day, I got a call from an Italian friend who told me she was moving abroad. "Wait, what do you mean? Aren't we already abroad?" And she replied, "Yes, yes, another abroad, a bit farther away." My phone conversations are often surreal, but that’s a story for another day!

She suggested I take over her teaching positions at two schools she was working at, saying, "I think you’d be really good at it!" I had never considered teaching Italian. Fast forward six months, here I am, creating grammar slides and preparing lessons for my students.

During the concert, I thought: if I hadn’t said yes to teaching, or to writing that welcome message, or to chatting with them, I wouldn’t have spent that wonderful evening with my daughter.

There are so many moments like these, so many opportunities I’ve had simply by being there.

When I work with my clients, networking is something we focus on, and it takes real work and motivation. It’s useful in Italy as well as abroad. But when you’re living abroad on your own, it becomes essential!

Many clients find it difficult to put themselves out there—due to shyness, fear of rejection, lack of time, or another reason that’s perhaps the hardest to shake: there’s often a stigma around networking because it can feel opportunistic or fake. Then, I arrived in the Netherlands and had to completely rethink my perspective:

• Networking literally means “a network.” Here, I’ve seen that connections become exchanges: I might do something useful, not necessarily for the person I’m talking to, but maybe for one of their connections. There’s a circularity in supporting each other.

• Keeping your projects to yourself leads nowhere. Sharing ideas sparks interest, and people naturally respond with, “Wait, let me introduce you to someone who can help.” There’s a real generosity in sharing contacts.

• Networking becomes a way to create collective value, a system where mutual support and shared connections strengthen the whole network. Helping others has long-term benefits for everyone, spreading trust and positive reputation.

Ok, so where do you start if networking still feels intimidating, but you’re realizing its importance? Here are five tips to get you started!

1. Prepare a Short Intro of Yourself.Similar to a job interview, prepare a brief story about who you are and why you’re networking. Highlight your most interesting qualities. Regarding your reasons for connecting:

   • Online: Mention what caught your attention about the person’s work or profile, like an article they wrote or a comment they left.

   • In-person: Try asking specific questions, without it feeling like an interrogation (which is common here! Where are you from? What do you do? Why are you here? Meanwhile, I’m still trying to remember my own name!). You could start with “What do you do?” or “What made you come to this event?” and so on. If social interactions tire you, there’s no harm in preparing in advance. Eventually, you won’t need it. Speaking from one introvert to another!

2. Start Online.When I first came to the Netherlands, I decided to cut all professional ties with Italy—a huge mistake. I started reconnecting on LinkedIn, and it led to many ideas and new collaborations. You don’t have to start with posting articles; begin by following pages that interest you, attending webinars, or sharing articles you liked with your network. Everything you share says something about you.

3. Attend Events with a Friend.If networking events make you uncomfortable, going with a friend can make the experience easier. Being accompanied reduces pressure and makes conversations feel more natural. But don’t let this limit your interactions. Glass in hand, try chatting with people around you. Here’s a secret: except for a few people, everyone feels a bit awkward at these events. You might even be the lifeline for someone who feels just as nervous as you do.

4. Be Selective.You don’t need a network of thousands. Even a few strong, authentic connections can make a big difference. Take time to know people you feel a natural affinity with. Curiosity and good listening skills make all the difference in building meaningful contacts.

5. Maintain Your Network.Many think that once a connection is made, the work is done. But that’s not true. Contacts need to be nurtured and revisited. Share a link to an interesting event or just say hello with a quick “How’s it going?” But where will you find the time? Dedicate just 10–15 minutes a day to networking. Some days, I don’t even log in, and others, I catch up with contacts. The key is to make sure you’ve spent a bit of time each week on networking—it’s not a hobby; it’s work.

I can already see it: “Yes, I’ll try it tomorrow!!”

 My new life philosophy? When I have to do something difficult, boring, or embarrassing that I would normally keep putting off, I put it at the top of my to-do list. It’s done.

Fingers crossed!