A version of me
- Chiara Marturano
- May 21, 2024
- 3 min read
How many versions of you are there?
The week from May 13 to 19 has been designated in Europe as Mental Health Awareness Week.
A few weeks ago, Meagin van der Westhuizen asked me if I would like to do an interview about my expatriation experience and how this experience impacts on my mental health.
You can find it here
If it had been in Italian, I wouldn't have hesitated. Having to do it in a language that's not mine and in which I still feel very insecure created some resistance. What if I can't convey what I want to say? What if I don't understand the questions? What if I start making sentences as long as Lent? What if I stammer?
Before the interview, I asked Meagin to help me with my English. She shrugged.
She replied by saying she was excited because she would be recording an episode with a podcast expert. She gave me more credit than I deserved but completely changed my perception of myself in that moment.
I was supposed to talk about what is part of my work, using two tools I know quite well: my voice, which I have been training for two years, and the microphone, my faithful ally.
And it felt like I had superpowers!
How many versions of you are there?
It depends on many factors! Let's look at two of them.
The language you speak can determine your way of expressing yourself and relating to others.
You might feel different because language skills vary, as does the number of words you know. In my consulting job, many terms are in English, and this also helped me during the interview. Mastery of the correct terminology increases the sense of self-efficacy and self-esteem.
Even if you know a language fluently, it doesn't mean you share the cultural background that influences the way of expressing oneself. In English, I am very direct but polite. In Dutch, I risk being less polite because I lack the words. In Italian, I choose the communicative register depending on who I'm talking to.
The phenomenon of priming: where, when, and how you learned that language greatly influences how you speak it and how you feel about it inside.
There's a Brazilian comedian who explains this concept very well: "In English, I am happier and more outgoing. All my traumas happened in Portuguese!".
Perhaps one language was mandatory at school or for your job and you couldn't do without it, another was the only available option, and another you chose out of love for the places where it's spoken.
The context you find yourself in.
There are people who, at work, are very confident, while in personal relationships, they are more shy and introverted, and vice versa.
There are moments in life and in your personal growth when you find yourself acting and feeling differently.
There are some softskills that you develop and that you could use in all areas of your life but you don't. A client of mine once told me, "At work, I'm at the peak of efficiency and organization. At home, everything is chaotic!"
You choose what and how much to bring of yourself into each area of your daily life, and this changes the perception you have of yourself and how others see you.
𝐷𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑎 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒? 𝑃𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑒𝑛.
𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒: 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝𝑠, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒. 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒? 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛? 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠? 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒? 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡? 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔.
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